Tattoos.

I want to see other peoples take on this.
Like most people now days, I have piercings, I have tattoos and I get quite disgruntled at the fact that I have to take them out/cover them up on a daily basis for my job.
I feel like it's more taboo to NOT have tattoos and piercings these days.
In the rare instances that I have forgotten to cover my tattoos, I get complimented on them. I have never once seen someone be annoyed, or offended by it. When they're covered (usually with a sweat band, or medical tape. You gotta get creative sometimes) I'm constantly bombarded with questions of why I'm wearing this, or what happened, or get concerned looks from people thinking that I may have sliced my own wrists open.
My point being, people notice more when you're trying to cover them, than when you just let it all hang out.
What's your view on tattoos/piercings in the workplace?

Unsupportive.

Why are people always out to destroy each other? 

I wish I could say I have a loving, supportive set of parents but that'd be so far from the truth.

My dad's not in the picture, and my mom... Well, she loves me in her own way I guess. I feel like she doesn't support me in anything i do though.

She's forever pointing out the flaws in my relationships. I told her I wanted to switch my major, and she told me it was a waste of time.

I don't ever plan on being a parent, but if I ever am god forbid I am ever the same way. 

Barriers.

Sometimes, I just want to quit trying. I want to tell everyone, if you want to be in my life then prove it. I'm finished with trying to hold something together when the other person doesn't care if it falls apart. 

I've been known to put a wall up between myself and others, and this is the exact reason why. They never stick around. What's the point in opening up, or getting close to someone if they're not going to be there in the end? 

Maybe that's some crucial lesson in life that I missed out on. The one that tells you that you should open your heart up and set yourself up for disaster. 

It's a cruel joke that I'm tired of being the subject of. 

If you want me around, don't push me away. The second you start pushing me away, I'm going to put up a barrier that you'll probably never get another chance to get past. 

My hearts been kicked around more times than I care to remember, and I just can't take that anymore. 

I want to trust people. I want to love beyond all limitations. I want to stop hurting myself. I want others to stop thinking any kind of relationship with me is just a game. 

If you don't plan on staying in my life, then get the fuck out. 

I'd rather be lonely, than keep holding onto a false hope that anybody actually gives a shit about me. 

Is enough ever enough?

I'm tired of the fighting. I'm tired of the aching that's consumed my heart as of late. 

What do you do when the person you can't envision your life without is the source of that? 

Maybe it's just a rough patch, or maybe this is how things are going to be now. 

I just want to wake up in the morning and be happy. I don't want to cry anymore. 

I'm not even sure that he's done anything wrong, and this isn't just self inflicted pain. 

I overthink everything. I'm overly sensitive, but that's just who I am. 

Most days, I hate that's who I am and that I'm constantly needing someone to talk me down from a ledge

But if someone loves you, shouldn't they be willing to do that? 

I'm terrified of loving the wrong person. Always have been, always will. I've experienced more heartbreak in my 22 years than most people probably ever experience in a lifetime. 

It never crossed my mind that maybe Mike is the wrong person until recently. 

I don't want him to be the wrong person. I don't want that at all, and maybe he's not but my heart is screaming out in pain and I just don't know what to do with it anymore. 

I'm sitting here trying to pinpoint the exact reason I'm hurting, and there's only one thing I can place my finger on.

I feel unappreciated. 

Maybe it's human nature, but people never notice the things you do for them, until you stop doing it. 

I never hear a thank you for anything I do, but then when I don't want to go to work, or I don't feel like cleaning the kitchen, I'm treated like I'm lazy.

It not only makes me feel unappreciated, but completely worthless. 

I don't think I'm any better some days, and maybe that's our whole problem. We've forgotten how to appreciate each other. 

I think that's an issue in today's world. We don't appreciate the people we love or even the people who make us our coffee every day. 

We've come to appreciate material things, not people or places. 

I think we're all guilty of it to some degree or another. I just wish it wasn't the source of agony and strain in my relationship. 

Education.

I wish I knew what it was about me and school that don't mix.
Aside from the fact that it bores the hell out of me on most days. I just can't make myself push through it.
Come on though, I REALLY don't want to continue working at Starbucks for a whole lot longer so I need to get my shit together.
I've failed out of college twice now, not because I don't have the brains for it, but because I can't find the motivation.
As cliche as it is, I think an ADD/ADHD test may be in my future. I've never been tested and it almost just seems like some lame ass excuse, but something needs to change here and it seems like that may be a probable fix.
I'm terrified that I'll just flunk out again and keep beating myself up over it.
I can't keep beating myself up over this kind of crap. It's not good for me.
I don't want to be a disappointment to the people around me either. I shouldn't feel like that, but I do.
So many people always said I would never do anything with my life, and I need to prove them wrong.
I WILL prove them wrong.

First post.

I don't expect anyone to actually read this, and I might actually prefer it that way, I'm not really sure.
I've been thinking about writing a blog for a while simply as a way to spew out all the crap the rattles around in my overly active brain.
I think the soul reason I haven't is because I know this shit will get really deep, and really personal, really fast.
You see, I have this little thing about me where I don't tell people anything. I keep my thoughts and my feelings all bottled up inside me. Which I know we have all been told one thousand times is a terrible thing to do.
Alas, I do it anyway. Why? Because 99% of the time I'm simply ashamed of how I feel. I don't know if it's some deep rooted no self esteem kind of issue, if it's my massive trust issues, or if it's the fear of being vulnerable. It's probably a complete smashed together mess of all three of the above listed items, but it's pretty messed up regardless.

Anyway, this is just a small taste of what could be coming.

That is if I have the balls to ever keep up with this.